fix: correct user self management on metadata and delete (#10666)

# Which Problems Are Solved

This PR fixes the self-management of users for metadata and own removal
and improves the corresponding permission checks.
While looking into the problems, I also noticed that there's a bug in
the metadata mapping when using `api.metadata.push` in actions v1 and
that re-adding a previously existing key after its removal was not
possible.

# How the Problems Are Solved

- Added a parameter `allowSelfManagement` to checkPermissionOnUser to
not require a permission if a user is changing its own data.
- Updated use of `NewPermissionCheckUserWrite` including prevention of
self-management for metadata.
- Pass permission check to the command side (for metadata functions) to
allow it implicitly for login v1 and actions v1.
- Use of json.Marshal for the metadata mapping (as with
`AppendMetadata`)
- Check the metadata state when comparing the value.

# Additional Changes

- added a variadic `roles` parameter to the `CreateOrgMembership`
integration test helper function to allow defining specific roles.

# Additional Context

- noted internally while testing v4.1.x
- requires backport to v4.x
- closes https://github.com/zitadel/zitadel/issues/10470
- relates to https://github.com/zitadel/zitadel/pull/10426

(cherry picked from commit 5329d50509)

internal/api/grpc/admin/import.go

@@ -542,7 +542,7 @@ func importUserMetadata(ctx context.Context, s *Server, errors *[]*admin_pb.Impo
 	}
 	for _, userMetadata := range org.GetUserMetadata() {
 		logging.Debugf("import usermetadata: %s", userMetadata.GetId()+"_"+userMetadata.GetKey())
-		_, err := s.command.SetUserMetadata(ctx, &domain.Metadata{Key: userMetadata.GetKey(), Value: userMetadata.GetValue()}, userMetadata.GetId(), org.GetOrgId())
+		_, err := s.command.SetUserMetadata(ctx, &domain.Metadata{Key: userMetadata.GetKey(), Value: userMetadata.GetValue()}, userMetadata.GetId(), org.GetOrgId(), nil)
 		if err != nil {
 			*errors = append(*errors, &admin_pb.ImportDataError{Type: "user_metadata", Id: userMetadata.GetId() + "_" + userMetadata.GetKey(), Message: errorToImportError(err)})
 			if isCtxTimeout(ctx) {