fix: correct user self management on metadata and delete (#10666)

# Which Problems Are Solved

This PR fixes the self-management of users for metadata and own removal
and improves the corresponding permission checks.
While looking into the problems, I also noticed that there's a bug in
the metadata mapping when using `api.metadata.push` in actions v1 and
that re-adding a previously existing key after its removal was not
possible.

# How the Problems Are Solved

- Added a parameter `allowSelfManagement` to checkPermissionOnUser to
not require a permission if a user is changing its own data.
- Updated use of `NewPermissionCheckUserWrite` including prevention of
self-management for metadata.
- Pass permission check to the command side (for metadata functions) to
allow it implicitly for login v1 and actions v1.
- Use of json.Marshal for the metadata mapping (as with
`AppendMetadata`)
- Check the metadata state when comparing the value.

# Additional Changes

- added a variadic `roles` parameter to the `CreateOrgMembership`
integration test helper function to allow defining specific roles.

# Additional Context

- noted internally while testing v4.1.x
- requires backport to v4.x
- closes https://github.com/zitadel/zitadel/issues/10470
- relates to https://github.com/zitadel/zitadel/pull/10426

(cherry picked from commit 5329d50509)

internal/api/grpc/user/v2/secret.go

@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ import (
 
 func (s *Server) AddSecret(ctx context.Context, req *connect.Request[user.AddSecretRequest]) (*connect.Response[user.AddSecretResponse], error) {
 	newSecret := &command.GenerateMachineSecret{
-		PermissionCheck: s.command.NewPermissionCheckUserWrite(ctx),
+		PermissionCheck: s.command.NewPermissionCheckUserWrite(ctx, true),
 	}
 	details, err := s.command.GenerateMachineSecret(ctx, req.Msg.GetUserId(), "", newSecret)
 	if err != nil {
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@ func (s *Server) RemoveSecret(ctx context.Context, req *connect.Request[user.Rem
 		ctx,
 		req.Msg.GetUserId(),
 		"",
-		s.command.NewPermissionCheckUserWrite(ctx),
+		s.command.NewPermissionCheckUserWrite(ctx, true),
 	)
 	if err != nil {
 		return nil, err